Family Life – March 2012

When a man desires a woman, he would give anything and say anything to make her give her body to him. Sometimes innocent ladies and even guys don’t know what is going on when members of the opposite sex, especially those they hold in high regard, approach them with lies.

One cannot afford to be ignorant of some of the sly approaches that men and women alike, use to lure others into pre-marital sex. Beneath are a few of these approaches and the right response to them.

The “Love” Approach: This is about the most common of the approaches. Here the guy or the lady equates sex with love and says, “If you love me, you will have sex with me”. The attempt here is to make the other party feel bad about not yielding to sexual pressure. The right response to this is to say, “If you love me you will not ask me”. This is because true love will not demand for sex before marriage, but rather protect the other person.

The Flattery Approach: Here the person says something like “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever set my eyes on”. He intentionally continues to commend her looks and as the relationship progresses, he claims he can no longer control himself because of her charm and beauty. Ladies who lack self-esteem are prone to fall for this approach; an appropriate response is “If it is all about my looks and shape, you will soon find someone else who is prettier and shapelier”.

The “Big Shot” Approach: When a guy comes with his shoulders high saying: “Girls are lining up to date me and you are lucky I’m interested in you” or “If you are not ready to give me what I want, I will call it quits with the relationship”, a lady should be on her guard. The tall, handsome, popular and rich guys usually employ it and, their prey in most cases, are ladies with inferiority complexes.

Ladies, know that you are unique and special to God and that no man does you a favour by marrying you, so when a man uses this approach on you, tell him that if he is not ready to respect you then he is not worth your while.

The Reasonable Approach: Here, the guy uses logical reasoning. He says that since you are sure of your affection for each other and plan to get married soon, you can have sex, “after all the marriage certificate is nothing but a sheet of paper”. The truth is that sex a day before the wedding is still a sinful act before God, who said, “marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4).

The Highbrow Approach: The fellow here promotes heavy thinking sessions. He consistently asks you what you think of oral sex, masturbation, kissing, a man just touching you, a man undressing you etc. it’s all about sex with him and before you know it, he gets you in bed because what you think or talk about, you will do.

The Abnormal Approach: you will be asked “What’s the matter with you? Are you frigid or something? Do you want to be known as a cold cucumber? Are you normal? Fear and doubts are planted about the lady’s ability to function sexually in marriage, thus she may give in to pressure in order to prove that she is normal. Having sex before marriage is not proof that you are normal! The only man worthy of the gift of your body is the man who has proved his commitment to you through marriage.

The Fault Approach: when a guy says “You have been the one putting pressure on me to kiss you and peck you, saying if I love you, I’ll touch you. Now I am so tensed-up, we must have sex”. In as much as it was wrong to lead a guy on, do not complicate matters by sleeping with him. The truth is that though he may be overwhelmed with sexual feelings, he will not die if you maintain your stand and refuse to give in. I advise that ladies who also find it hard to resist heavy kissing and petting should avoid being alone with their fiancé.

God designed us to relate with him in every area of life, and until we have him in our hearts, we not only remain incapable of experiencing true love, but are also bound to fall for the lies of men. If you are yet to have a relationship with him, I advise that you do so today by asking Jesus Christ to come into your life, to be your personal Lord and Saviour.

So there you have it. Real stories, real lives, real situations, real people! Everybody has a story, but not every story has the same ending.

How does your story end? I can say without a shadow of doubt that there is only one way to a happy ending – Jesus. He is the way, He is the truth and He is the life. If you have not placed your life in his hands, there are no guarantees.

The single life has enough woes on its own. You cannot afford to live it on your own and by your own rules; too many people have tried and failed, miserable and bitter, they wish they had done it differently but you still have a choice to make. Right now you can decide. Your story shall end well.

God has promised to never leave or forsake you and you have the Holy Spirit to lead you into all truth.

Find a Bible-believing church to go to, surround yourself with God-fearing people, read your Bible, get Christian books and tapes and start your journey to a happily ever after ending.

You are blessed!

Enjoy your home

 Folake Johnson

Please send  your comments to or sms to +234 (0) 8033033046

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